Closure

As the days passed by of cramping and bleeding for 3 weeks and passing clots and constantly being reminded of what had happened every single time I went to the bathroom, life went on.

We went in for a follow up visit and received the results from the genetic testing of the baby. 

It was a boy.

He measured exactly 9 weeks so his little heart must have stopped the day I went in for the ultrasound.

The results stated that he had a Robertsonian Translocation, trisomy 21, Down Syndrome.  In the majority of Down's babies, one would see 47 chromosomes instead of 46.  There would be 3 chromosomes under the 21st.  Not our little boy.  This was a very rare situation.

His chromosome pattern showed 46 chromosomes, but apparently a piece of a chromosome attached to another to create the translocation.

There was a possibility it was genetic, that me or Huzb were carriers or it was a total fluke during cell division.  We decided we would go through genetic testing as well before trying to conceive again.

The waiting was brutal.  The doctor called me at work a few weeks later, and I wanted to know the news but at the same time didn't.

Finally, good news.  Huzb and I were not carriers.  I just knew one of us would be even though there is no record of Down's in either of our families.

With this wonderful news, we were advised to wait until I had at least one normal menstrual cycle, and then we had a green light to start trying again as soon as we were emotionally ready.

The closure began when we received the results.  Knowing that there was nothing I did or didn't do to cause the miscarriage.  Knowing what was wrong with our son.  Knowing that there was still hope.